We talk about using kindness to overcome setbacks, grow confidence and break bias.
Editor CAROLINE PAIGE
Photographer ADAM ROUSSAK
If we could all do this more, we’d be happier. We wouldn’t pursue success and accolades at the expense of our mental and emotional health.
My second interview for the FEMALE LEADERS series is with Abigail Irozuru an Olympic athlete, speaker and coach. As a long jumper for Teams England and GB, she’s used to the pressure and challenges of elite-level competition. She battled injury to make a comeback in 2019 – improving her personal best (to 6.86 m) and reaching the final at the World Championships in Doha. And at 29 she had to break bias to prove she wasn’t too old to compete. I caught up with Abigail during a brief stay at home between competitions in Slovakia and Paris. I’ve experienced Abigail’s self-assured and engaging coaching first-hand. And I knew her take on success and strength would make an interesting read.
So, Abigail…
Can you have other dreams if you want to be an Olympian?
You’ve got to be all in. I found it wasn’t possible to have another major thing going on. I started athletics when I was 14. I’d only been competing for a few years and suddenly I was on GB and England teams. I’d started a law degree and I thought that was my path. Then, that passion was forced out by my other passion – athletics. That’s what happens.
It also depends on where you are in your journey. I achieved my dream of competing at the Olympics in 2021. Injury and non-selection meant I didn’t make it in 2012 and 2016, so the journey was a long one. I’m still focused on athletics, but things are levelling out for me competitively. My heart is starting to create space for other things. Everything has a season and a time. It’s difficult to remember that – because a passion is all-consuming.
Does achieving your dream and competing at the Olympics satisfy that passion?
There are two-time, three-time, four-time Olympians. But, for me, the journey to get there once was incredibly tough. After Covid, it felt even more precious to be in the stadium in Tokyo in 2021 wearing the Olympic vest. After the Olympic final – where I didn’t do as well as I wanted – I felt dejected. But, as time passed, I began to see the power in those feelings and to realise their value.
I planned to get to the 2024 Olympic Games in Paris to redeem myself. But I don’t feel the same now. I experienced my Olympic dream – a little. If I go to Paris it’ll be because I want to, not because I feel I must. Every time you prepare for the Olympics, the journey is different. There are different struggles and different highs and lows. You’re a different person every time you compete.
After the Olympic final – where I didn’t do as well as I wanted – I felt dejected. But, as time passed, I began to see the power in those feelings and to realise their value.
How do you build your resilience?
To achieve at a high level, people find a way to cope with seeing the flaws and doing the thing anyway. Self-kindness is essential. Especially when you’re not feeling at the top of your game. Self-criticism can really kill you. It can leave you feeling defeated and on the floor. If I fall short, I’m compassionate and kind to myself. I tell myself it’s OK and that it’s just where I’m at.
Sometimes I work with sports psychologists to analyse my performance and form a plan. I decide my tactical and technical KPIs (my key performance indicators). And I decide what were achievements and what I need to work on. I can find recognising my achievements difficult. But acknowledging them and ticking them off my plan is an act of compassion. Acknowledging the things I don’t achieve and adding them to the plan (as things to work on) keeps balance.
If we could all do this more, we’d be happier. We wouldn’t pursue success and accolades at the expense of our mental and emotional health. There’s no point being successful in one area, professionally, if you can’t feel joy and contentment with what you’ve done.
If I fall short, I’m compassionate and kind to myself. I tell myself it’s OK and it’s just where I’m at.
Have you had to break bias or other barriers to achieve your dream?
Female athletes often face bias, or prejudice, about their age. Women reach a certain age and suddenly they’re considered finished. They’re tossed aside and their careers don’t progress. I had a brief period of retirement (from 2016 to 2018). When I returned, there were doubts about my future performance metrics because of my age. I kept smashing those performance metrics and those barriers should’ve lifted.
I finished top of the Brits and qualified for World and European championships (made the finals and reached the top in them). And I still had to fight for my place as if there was still some doubt about my performance. Those doubts only related to my age – not the metrics used to measure an athlete’s performance. In one World Class Performance Programme call, I was told my age (29) had to be a question as to whether I could compete.
I’d already shown I was on top form – with seven years of metrics to back me up. It had been my breakthrough season! I’d jumped 6.86 m – my personal best. Rules and biases, like these around age, must be challenged. Not only with words, but with action. We have to break bias. So, I continued to show up and proved I can perform well at 29 (and at 30, 31 and 32).
Where does your confidence come from (and can you grow it when you need it)?
I was way more confident when I was younger. Maybe life knocked me back a bit – with its disappointments and setbacks. But I always feel like there’s this inner confidence. It’s probably not a confidence in who I am, but more a faith in God and trusting there’s a plan and purpose for everything. I’m always about being bold and making the hard decisions. Because I know they’re probably the ones that’ll lead to the best results.
This season eroded my confidence in my ability to jump far. To challenge that and build my confidence I have strategies in place. I speak with people who know me and can speak life into me. Speaking to this ‘life team’ reminds me who I am and that I can turn things around. It’s important to have people like these around you. It’s easy to forget the importance of checking in with them – especially when you lose confidence.
I can hang out on my own a lot, particularly when I don’t feel like things are going well. I can feel ashamed and embarrassed and want to hide. My default in those situations is to ignore my phone and not respond to messages. It’s a real struggle to pull myself out of that mindset. Picking up my phone and calling someone feels really uncomfortable, but I know it will help.
Affirmation statements and self-talk can make confidence feel more real. I say things like: “I am a champion jumper. I am an Olympian and world-class jumper.” Sometimes I make those statements more specific. And I visualise them too. I watch video footage and think: “That’s what I’ve done before and that’s why I can do it again.” I’m going back to the facts.
It’s so important to look back. I’ve had tough seasons before and overcome them – that gives me confidence. Look back at what you’ve done, remember you’re great, remember your values and who you are. Bring that knowledge back to the forefront of your mind.
And I look at my plan. I visualise my dreams and focus on my goals. I trust that if I commit to the process and keep working hard the results will come.
Look back at what you’ve done, remember you’re great, remember your values and who you are. Bring that knowledge back to the forefront of your mind.
How do you decide what’s going to get your focus outside of athletics?
I ask myself if it fits with my values. I filter projects using four words: motivate, inspire, transform and excellence. Is it going to inspire? Is it going to change lives? When I set up Manchester Tutors, I knew it would be transformative. Because I know the impact of high-quality education. Especially for people who haven’t had time or belief invested in them. It was about more than an academic qualification and competency in a subject. Learning had to be transformative – to give competence and confidence.
Moving from a fixed to a growth mindset brought change in other areas of students’ lives. If we were teaching them maths, it was normal to see their scores increase in other subjects such as English or PE. They’d learned that where they were at was not where they would stay. They learned that there’s opportunity for growth in every area of life.
Who inspires you?
My friend, Montell Douglas. She was an Olympic sprinter in the 2008 Beijing Games. Fourteen years later, she made her second Olympic team. Not only that. She competed in the Winter Games the same year, as part of the bobsleigh team. She’s the first female athlete to compete in different sports for the Olympic Summer and Winter Games. It’s incredible! You don’t see the tears and the financial challenges. I’m always inspired by people who have a story and keep it real and talk about the challenges.
What’s the last thing you read that resonated with you?
My friend, Anyika Onuroa, is an Olympic sprint track and field athlete. Her autobiography, My Hidden Race, tells her story of growing up in Liverpool with her Nigerian parents. It was interesting to read about the racism they encountered and how much she’s overcome.
I’m reading Wabi Sabi by Beth Kimpton. It’s about Japanese wisdom for living a perfectly imperfect life. It’s about being OK with things cracking, breaking in life, and accepting that it happens. It sees the beauty in the things we might see as flaws. There’s a Japanese custom of repairing broken china with gold. This celebrates the damage and ensures the object is still a thing of beauty. The idea of picking up the pieces and making something better really resonates.
Finally, what advice do you have for women who may have to break bias or rules to follow their dream?
Some rules need to be broken. Those that allowed slavery and segregation might’ve been legal, but they weren’t ethical. But it’s important to check in with yourself and ask if you’re breaking a rule for the right reasons. Ask yourself if what you’re doing is ethical – should it be a rule and do you want to make a stand?
If you choose to make a stand, it’s important to have people around who can help you stay strong. You may face repercussions. With support you can stand firm and keep pushing. You can start to break bias. And someone will benefit from your action. It might not be you – but it might help future generations. I’m all about that.
If you have a dream that seems overwhelming, it’s OK to pause for a moment. Go back to your plan, refocus and then keep pushing. That desire is in your heart for a reason. It’s a gift. And you never know the impact it’s going to have. When I don’t have the strength to do it for myself, I do it for someone I love. You can do it for your children, your nieces or anyone that sees it. That inspiration could change the trajectory of someone’s life. Think about the value it’ll bring and the ripple effect your dream could have.
As an elected member of the British Olympic Association’s Athletes’ Commission, Abigail represents the athletes’ voice – helping to ensure representation. But in Abigail’s words, she’s “more than an athlete.” She set up her coaching business Amplify to help people enhance their performance, develop resilience and nurture their wellness. She’ll help you find your own way to overcome setbacks with confidence. She talks for high-performance teams and provides one-to-one sports coaching.
As well as helping others achieve their dreams, she’s still focused on her own bias-breaking peak-performance plan. She’s training hard – ready to make the next jump.
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